How I've Lost Over 50 Pounds

[Composed on my phone... So ur bout to read my texting lingo.]
Bc I'm paranoid of being blamed for smone's heart attack, or wooziness, or even just them being outta breath after a mild run, I hafta start by saying I'm not a healthcare provider in any way, form, or fashion. This is STRICTLY MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. Each person's body is unique & u shld not assume u can do ANY of wat I've done w/the same results. Get professionals involved so u can sue them if smthing goes wrong. :-)

Im long-winded. So heres the nutshell info...
Professional assistance
Eating program
Exercise
Maintaining

It's been a five yr journey for me to lose 50 pounds. It's taken constant revamping & readjustment. So in theory u can say it took a yr to lose 10 pounds... In reality, sm years, between the gains & losses I didn't even lose 10. So it TRULY is a lifestyle change if the goal is to keep it off. If the weight loss is a quick fix for a reunion or anniversary or smthing, then one of those fat flush magazine diets will do the trick & get u thru the weekend. But it'll b back within 2 wks. And when ppl continually do this type of dieting it's very bad on their body, from metabolism, to bone mass loss, to digestive system damage, skin, etc. it's really not healthy.

So... Here's wat my journey has been like....

I weighed over 200 pounds, went to the doc & got a script for Phenteramin. (It's the "good" part of phen-phen. Has been on the market since the 1950's.) For me it was PERFECT. Curbed my appetite & gave me energy. I loved it! I hv had sm friends try it and they hated it. Made their heart race, made them moody. So it's clearly not for everybody. But it was Awsm for me.

However, even while taking Phnteramin I RARELY wld lose 1 pound in a wk. I wld lose .2, .6... But I had determined at the start that ANY loss was perfect. Losing .3 is better than gaining .3!

After about 2-3 wks on phentermine I started going to weight watchers. THIS WAS VITAL for my weight loss. I actually only went for a couple months, & I still didn't lose more than a pound or two in a wk. (& that was a RARE week. It was still usually less than a pound a wk.) But, this is where I learned the diff in foods. That has proven very important long term. Counting points is a healthy way to sum up a food. I highly recommend the program b looked into.

I knew exercise was important to my weight loss, but I was so heavy at first I was 1. Too embarrassed to work out w/any1. 2. I was too heavy to workout for hardly any time at all. So wat I started doing was turning on crazy songs & dancing my head off at home. I just jumped & wiggled & boogied w/no one arnd! I loved it!

I went on a vacay, & while I was gone I cldnt dance in the hotel rm cuz it was too small. So I was forced to a treadmill. This was PERFECT! I was still alone (turns out hardly anybody uses hotel workout rms! Ha!) and I cld go as slow or fast as I wanted. I walked the rest of that vacay.

Came home & kept walking. But I didn't hv a treadmill so I was outside walking. By this point I was not attending weight watcher meetings anymore (group sessions r not my best growing environment. I'm a very private person.) but I was still counting points. I had been dealing w/some personal health & emotional issues stemming from various family upheaval so the walking was helping me on so many levels; endorphins were being released, I was away from the mess. But I was walking 5 miles a day & that was TOO long away from my kids. A friend told me to try jogging. That a mile of jogging wld do more for me in fat burning than 5 miles of walking.

I can't tell u how NOT athletic I am!!! And I loathe the phrase "go for the burn." & the concept of "no pain, no gain" is NOT part of my motivation. Plus, running seemed like such a "professional" thing to do!! I was truly, utterly intimidated by it. But I tried it... & HATED IT! Lol But did it again anyway... & again... I'm absolutely IN LUV with running now. I don't run socially. I don't do marathons. I despise competing. I just do it for ME. I hv nothing to prove. That means I can stop every time I want. I can run slow or fast. I can run, walk, then run. I can run for 5 miles or a 1/4 mile. I've worn out 5 pairs of sneakers in the last 3 years. It's one of my fav accomplishments in my life.

By this time i wasnt taking the Phentermine anymore. Running is wat pushed me into that zone where I was losing more than a pound a wk. I was losing 3 pounds, 2 pounds, Smtimes 5 pounds! I was also doing ab work, biceps, triceps, etc. toning up my muscle to fix the loose skin due to weight loss.

It's a simple matter of b aware of the nutritional content u put in ur mouth, & exercise to burn off wat uve eaten.

At this point I hv a few "tricks"...
Move, move, move!
I do not sit for more than an hr at a time. I hv a "happy exercise" that goes off on my phone every hr. included in that is "move ur body." So I'll close my ofc door & do sm pushups, or sit ups, or I'll go for a walk, or do jumping jacks. My co-workers laugh at me when I run the stairs.

Portion control
It's rare that I eat the entire plate of food at a restaurant. Our culture serves/eats WAY too much. I usually ask for a to go box when they bring my food & I immediately box at least half of my meal before I eat the first bite.

When we go thru drive thru's I always get the kids meal.

Home foods
I'm not a cook so recipes r not a weakness for me. I gv each if my teens a $20 & tell em to buy wat they want for that wk at the grocery store. I don't hv tons of food in my house.

Usually if I'm craving "home food" it's gonna b fruits & veggies in various forms. I'm not a major carnivore. This def has helped in my journey.

Junk food
I DON'T HV IT IN MY HOUSE!!!
1. My kids don't need it. They deal w/weight struggles like we all do. They eat enuf junk foods w/their friends & at their dads. They don't need it here.
2. I WILL EAT IT! I hv wimpy will-power. If I'm PMSing & liable to bite smbody's head off if I don't get chocolate, then I'll buy the fun size plain m&m's. Opening bag after bag makes me aware of how much I'm eating, so that tends to aid in portion control. I don't buy chips, I don't buy baking mixes. I just don't keep junk foods in my house. I'll eat a sundae, or fries, etc. But I eat it OUT & not at home.

Supplements
I drink protein shakes. Bc I'm not a cook & my kids don't like bfast, I hv protein shakes that we like to grab on our way out the door. I tried smoothies but for watever reason my kids didn't like them. (I'm really NOT a cook! Lol)
Check out this list for the vitamins I take. http://musingdenee.blogspot.com/2012/08/vitamins-i-take.html

When it's hot...
I hv a treadmill now that all 3 of us use. But I don't run much after May. I "stretch" & tone. It makes me sweat, builds muscle, & it gets my heart rate up. I'll run again near the end of Sept. :-)

Vitamins I Take

[Composed on my phone... So ur bout to read my texting lingo.]
Bc I'm paranoid of being blamed for smone's heart attack, or wooziness, or even just them being outta breath after a mild run, I hafta start by saying I'm not a healthcare provider in any way, form, or fashion. If u were to put me up against cooking mom's (which r at least "nutrition providers") I'd cm in dead last. But ppl hv asked wat supplements I take, so this is a bare bones list of wat I tk and why I tk them. I'm not gonna tell u how much I tk, just which ones & their benefits. U REALLY need to do at least a smidgen of research for urself so u don't tk too much, etc. Also, taking certain supplements w/certain medications can b VERY dangerous, so if ur on prescriptions talk to ur doc. (I've heard sm supplements cancel birth control, for instance. I'M NOT GONNA PAY U CHILD SUPPORT IF THAT HAPPENS!! Lol) Of course, anything I've ever read or watched that has to do w/health, nutrition, exercise, etc. is VERY clear that u shld talk to ur doc, whether ur taking prescriptions or not.

Oh! BTW... I'm aware whole foods is a better option than supplements. So I'd like the health gurus not to gv me grief. Just write ur own blog for Pete's sake! Lol :-)

First thing in the morning... (and I do mean "FIRST" bc all of these r major energy boosters.)

These r all great for hair, skin, nails, metabolism & ENERGY...
Biotin
Green Tea
Super B complex
CoQ-10
Chromium Picolinate
Alpha Lipoic Acid
Acrtyl L-Carnitine
Niacin (Flush free)

These all aid in mood, heart, immunity, joint, eyes, nervous system, & a load of other things! Again, DO THE RESEARCH!
Glucosamine Chondroitin
Zinc
E
A
C
Fish Oil
5-HTP (The "just 5-HTP" I tk at bedtime cuz it can help u sleep. But if u get the complex version, tk it in the morning bc they tend to add a B vitamin.)

And one last thot... Watch the documentary "Forks Over Knives." It's very inspiring!

Are Women Weak?

(KJV) 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Yesterday I was rearranging the furniture in my office, and while I pushed a credenza full of files, which seemed to weigh a ton... And while I moved a miniature fridge... And moved a desk and couch... This "weaker vessel" verse came to me.

How can a woman who can birth babies be a weaker vessel? How can women who'll stand in front of a bullet to protect her child be a weaker vessel? I know women who can bench press huge amounts of weights! How can women be considered the "weaker vessel?" I've heard non-Christian women and Christian women alike feel slighted by this verse.

But.... Wait a minute... Ah-ha! Let's look a bit closer to the wording of that scripture, shall we?

"giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel..."

It doesn't say a woman IS weak! It's merely a mental image to show a man how he is to honor his wife! Now I'm liking this verse a whole lot better! Lol

In our culture we can get a "vessel" to drink out of from the dollar store. If we break it we're more frustrated by the mess than the destroyed glass. But "vessels" of ANY sort in the ancient times this verse was written in were valuable. First of all they had to make their own vessels... If they didn't have the means to do so, then they'd have to go buy their vessels from a potter. The potter didn't sell his handmade wares cheap. Men, women, and children were very responsible and careful in their handling of any vessel in their house.

Peter was not saying women were weak. Rather he was using their understanding of how valuable the vessels were in their home to demonstrate the care men were to show to their wives. They didn't go knocking about clay bowls or vases. They didn't carelessly toss any type of vessel across a room. They understood their value and they treated their vessels with respect.

THIS is how women are suppose to be treated, with honor. Handled with care.

God created women, therefore he knows how they best function; in a loving, caring environment. If men want their "vessels" to reach their full potential they will give honor to her. She will in turn cherish that level of care and will give the "holder" the respect and service he needs.

Neither God nor Peter were saying women are weak... But rather that women are valuable and should be held with honor.

What a lovely bit of advice God and Peter gave to men!

Getting In the Game For the New Year

As I'm winding down this year and pressing into the new one I am, of course, thinking about resolutions. That word is spoken puts one image into my head, a piece of paper with about four things on it. Most of us could actually write down our resolutions and blindly swap with another person in town and it'd probably end up being the same list in different handwriting! Because we all want to lose weight, make more money, and spend more time _____. (You fill in the blank.)

The problem with that list is that it's too vague. And that's the very same reason we end a year having not completed one of the things on our list. And then we make a list again for the new year and the same words are on it.

If I gave you a piece of paper that said, "Come to my house. Get the coconut oil. Put the coconut oil in my car." You might be very willing to do these things, but it's not going to take you very long at all to realize that being "willing" doesn't get the job done.

Why? It's too vague.

Very few people reading this blog will know how to get to my house. Not even my children who live in my house realize I have coconut oil. They wouldn't kno if it's above the stove, in the pantry, or because of all my homemade facial concoctions, if it's under my bathroom sink! And finding my car would b even more difficult since it tends to be all over town!

And THAT'S why most "New Year Resolutions" do not make it past the first week. Because so many people usually have "lose weight" at the top of their resolutions list, we're going to use "lose weight" as the example throughout this blog. But understand that ANYTHING (make more money, spend more time with the kids, etc.) can apply with these same principles.

The first step toward successfully completing your desires for the new year is to change your wording from "resolution" to "game." We understand that word better because we're a culture of sports fanatics. We know that to be an NFL player you've got to be serious about "being in the game". Nonchalant, overweight uncles throwing a football on Thanksgiving do not REALLY get in "the game". They merely watch those who are. So now you're going to get in the game! The game is called "weight loss." It's going to be a great game and you are going to win because you're going to KNOW HOW to play the game!

Your first objective in playing the game is knowing your GOAL.

Now u need to think like a football player who has a goal called an "end line" or a "touchdown line." So your "goal" is not to "lose weight." Thats the name of the game. Your GOAL is determined by deciding how much weight you want to lose. You need to be EXACT. How you come to this conclusion is up to you. Do you want to lose enough weight to be at your proper BMI? Or do you want to lose a number of pounds suggested by a doctor? Your GOAL is the final number of pounds you wish to drop.

So now you know your GAME is "to lose weight", and your GOAL is an exact, final number of pounds.

Now you need to picture a football field. It's green with periodic white lines drawn all the way across it. The player knows the GOAL is the touchdown line. But he's got incremental goals. Since I don't know a THING about football I found this information on www.Dummies.com; "White lines on a football field are critical to playing the game. By knowing what yard lines, hash lines, and end lines represent, you’ll have an easier time following the game."

I couldn't have said it better myself! If your GOAL is to lose forty pounds then your yard lines, hash lines, and end lines are your incremental goals. That's where you lose your forty pounds in eight pound segments. (Or whatever you set up as your incremental goals.)

Let's recap, you now know your GAME is "to lose weight", and your GOAL is an exact, final number of pounds. Your yard lines are incremental goals.

Let's wrap up by talking about our GAME PLAN. If just saying, "I'm going to reach my goal!" was all it took to win, then I wouldn't have needed to share my opinions and ideas about how to succeed. No game is won just by wanting to, or by knowing the goals. There has to be a GAME PLAN that includes various PLAYS. These plays are thought about, demonstrated on a white board, practiced, written on little pieces of paper and velcroed to players biceps. And having one game plan isn't enough. There are many and during the course of a game the players have to try different plans as they move their way from yard line to yard line.

This is most definitely true in the weight loss game! Your going to start with a game plan of what type of diet will best suit you. When a player discovers a particular play isn't working he doesn't throw up his hands, give up on the whole game and go sit in the stands to eat a hot dog! I dare say that the nature of life will dictate that some of your original PLAYS won't work. Don't get frustrated because the PLAY worked so good for a friend, or a celebrity that you take yourself out of the game! If you find yourself failing at THAT particular play simply call a time out, regroup, look for a different play, and then continue the game!

I'm going to throw out a bunch of "Don'ts" here;
Don't be vague.
Don't bit off more than you can chew & swallow.
Don't give up!

And I'll wrap up with these "Do's";
Do have a specific, final GOAL.
Do set up incremental YARD LINES.
Do have a GAME PLAN that includes the option of any PLAY needed for the moment.

The only thing not mentioned in this method of goal achieving is setting dates. I didn't talk about setting deadlines because we've been using weight loss as an example. And while many people definitely do use deadlines in losing weight, it wouldn't have been prudent for me to do so.

I had a weight loss goal of forty pounds that I'm proud to say I met... Over the course of three years! First of all, if I'd started the game realizing it'd be a three YEAR journey I don't think I'd have been able to handle that huge time frame. Secondly, weight loss is very different from person to person. Research proves speedy weight loss is neither healthy nor lasting. So where traditional goal setting teaches to set dates at the incremental goal lines, & on other GAMES I do suggest that you set dates. When it comes to weight loss I do not suggest it.

But that GAME convo is for another season!

Knock Out Negative Emotions

When I was a child there was a playground rhyme that went like this;
See my finger?
See my thumb?
See my fist?
You'd better run!
It was definitely said by the tough kids, taunting wimps, flaunting their powerful five year old muscles with the rhyme.

I've given one black eye in my life. My friend, Donald, was teasing me on the playground at school one day saying I liked a little boy named Matthew! It was quite true of course. But for whatever reason I felt my honor and respectability was at stake. So I started chasing Donnie, swinging my fists, telling him to be quiet! Then suddenly, without warning Donnie turned around to end the chase and be done with the game; Wham! You know that comical line from the '90's, "Run into my fist." That's literally what happened! It was the classic case of being in the wrong time in the wrong place and my fist caught him squarely in the eye! I felt terrible hitting my friend! It was on accident! But at least now I'm aware I can give a black eye if I need to!

I've had a new "friend" chasing me around this playground of "life" lately. She goes by the name, Emotions. We have a very tight bond. For whatever reason another childhood rhyme comes to mind;
There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good
She was very, very good
But when she was bad
She was horrid

Indeed, when emotions are good, they are very, very good! Laughter literally releases more feel-good endorphins that lead to feelings of calm & peace. Emotions cause us to feel tender and sweet toward our loved ones. They cause us to feel compassion toward less fortunate humanity, that feeling then pushes us into an action of helping.

But when emotions are bad, they ARE horrid. There are events that can occur that send our emotions into a tailspin. It could be an unfaithful friend, or a death in the family, or the illness of a child. It could be the environment of a job, or even worse, the loss of a job.

My emotions went into a tailspin about five years ago and I had no clue what was going on! I came from positive parents. I am naturally inclined to be positive and bright. Suddenly (at least it snuck up on me so silently it felt like "suddenly) I was needing to cry for no reason. I would feel bursts of anger like I'd never known. And I was sick alllll-the-tiiiime! I had hormone tests done, because of course as a woman, PMS can be blamed for everything emotional and spasmatic! My hormones were PERFECTLY balanced. My iron was even higher than most women of my age. My thyroid was good. I went to homeopathic doctors, and traditional doctors. There was nothing physically wrong with me!

Through prayer, counsel, and some major life-upheavaling decisions I began to realize my problem was literally "all in my head." I had allowed some damage to occur to some foundational elements of health and well-being and now my whole structure was reeling from the damage. I HAD to get proactive on repairing that foundation for several reasons; 1. I still had kids to raise and they were entering their very vulnerable teen years. 2. I love my job as a music director and leader in my church. 3. I had a LOT of future ahead.

More prayer ensued. More counsel. More research. I knew the joy of the Lord was my strength. I knew my answers were in prayer. But I was very confused at myself and very frustrated with my counsellors because the prayer and the joy didn't seem to be helping! Then I happened across a book at my public library. ("Happened?" I believe God set up the encounter.) The book was called, "Happy For No Reason." It wasn't a Christian book. But it was a great resource to help me. What the book did for me was showed me HOW TO access the joy & peace that was already within me!

We've just finished celebrating Christmas and I received from my parents a gift I've been wanting for a while; an iPad2! Here's why my iPad is relevant (besides the fact that I'm currently writing from it! Yippee!) The iPad2 was purchased, paid for in-full, in other words, no ongoing payments were required. The iPad2 was gift wrapped by my mother. The iPad2 was laying beneath her garland bedecked antique piano. For the three to four weeks leading up to Christmas my iPad2... (Sorry! I just get giddy saying "iPad2!) MY iPad2was right there! I walked within inches of it more times than I can count. I KNEW IT WAS THERE! she had asked me if I wanted an iPad2, she called me from the store to find out if I wanted 3G on it. So I actually KNEW I had an iPad2 and I knew the day it was purchased for my benefit!

When did I benefit from this lovely, magical creation of Steve Jobs? The day I TOOK ACTION! And THAT'S what "Happy For No Reason" showed me how to do; take action. I definitely had God's attention in prayer. I would cry my heartache out to him and his spirit would minister to me so intimately. I would even speak in other tongues. But I'd leave that time of prayer and worship and still be lugging around such heavy, oppressive emotions!

Through reading that book (which you must read yourself since I don't have time to rewrite it here) I learned that I had to extend my arms, use the ligaments and muscles in my hands to receive the gift already mine, and I had to tear the paper off, and I had to open the box, and I had to power on the device in order to benefit! (Ok. I just sorta flashed back to that wonderful moment when I got this amazing device currently being tapped and swiped with love!) But that's what I had to also do with my body and brain in order to benefit from the joy and peace already mine via the Holy Ghost!

Though no particular chapter in the book said to do a Happy Exercise, or what exactly that Happy Exercise would be, I combined actions I saw in various chapters and created my OWN Happy Exercise! I knew from my experience in working out that what was required to build the strength of a muscle was repetition. What is required to build a good habit, or tear down bad habits is repetition. So I set the alarm on my phone to go off every hour and I began delivering a five-fingered fist to the breadbasket of bad emotions.

1. Smile for no reason.
When my Happy Exercise alarm goes off. (I have mine set for every hour.) I SMILE! Research shows smiling releases happy hormones into your brain. Women who've had Botox done on the frown lines around their mouth had relief from depression because frowning causes your brain to produce negative, stress inducing hormones. So every hour, for no reason, I SMILE to release the happy endorphins!

2. Think happy thoughts.
I think of someone, someplace, or something that I like. It may b a song, or a book, or a miracle, or an act of kindness I heard about. It may be something that happened so long ago I can't even remember the details. But I very PURPOSEFULLY think a happy thought.

3. Pray.
I ask God to help me be happier. I ask God to heal whatever is causing me emotional or physical pain. I ask God to help the people I'm worried about. I thank God for his blessings. Sometimes this lasts 30 seconds. Sometimes it last 30 minutes. But I purposefully connect myself to my Creator during this Happy Exercise.

4. Do an exercise.
Exercise releases more of those happy endorphins into your brain and bloodstream. So whether you want to lose weight or not. Just MOVE YOUR BODY! Sometimes I go for a walk. Sometimes lock my office door and do 10 pushups. Sometimes I annoy my co-workers by running up and down the stairs three or four times. Sometimes I just stand up from my desk and touch my toes. But I purposefully exercise my body.

5. Compliment someone.
I either write a quick, short notecard or I shoot off a text or fb message to someone letting them know something they have done that I appreciate. I tell someone I think they're beautiful. I tell someone about a good deed I overheard they did and how it impressed me. I tell someone how their conduct under pressure inspired me.

And now we're back where I started...
See my finger?
See my thumb?
See my fist?
You'd better run!

Now I know how to show my horrid emotions exactly who is boss of me! In those five exercises I am deliberately raising my fist to sadness, negativity, oppression, and doubt and delivering a very complete KO! Do I still feel sadness? Of course! Do I still have bad days? Yep. And as long as I have blood pumping through my veins I'll hafta keep on guard against negativity. But NOW I know what and how to get my inner army of joy-bots moving and grooving, taking back territory that rightfully belongs to me.

If you've been dealing with the effects of bad emotions, I hope you'll begin doing Happy Exercises with me. If you have a friend dealing with depression I hope you'll invite them to join me AND YOU in doing Happy Exercises.

Negativity is the enemy and I now know how to raise my fist to it!

My “Get Fit/Feel Pretty” Journey

Originally published on my blog, Soul Java, on Monday, February 22, 2010

Part 4

I still take the Phentermine, but in very small doses. Its VERY rare for me to take a whole pill, when I do its because I’m taking it early in the morning and I need it to last all day. Usually I only take a half pill and I do that around 11am after I realize I’m feeling more snackie than is good. Its common for me to go 3 months before I need a refill. Usually the pill is not prescribed to a patient for as long as I’ve been taking it, but usually patients take the pill everyday and are needed a new script every month. Because I use them as rarely as I do my doctor is comfortable prescribing to me. I also take other things to help me. Nearly every day I take Chromium Picolinate, L-Carnitine & periodically drink Protein to help my metabolism.

When I first went to my doctor weighing 214lbs we set a goal of 165lbs. I honestly was not sure I could get there and thought to myself, “I’ll be happy if I can get under 190lbs.” Today I weigh 172lbs. Furthermore, I’m not sure what my goal is anymore! Well, for sure I’m going to hit my 165 mark, but a couple months ago I discovered that to be at the right BMI (Body Mass Index) I should weigh 155lbs. So, I’m guessing I’m going to use my friends’ & family’s judgment and if I start looking “sunken” like I did in my 20’s I won’t try to reach that 155 mark.

My advice to everyone is DON’T GET OVERWEIGHT! My advice to my overweight friends is don’t lie to yourself, don’t cover up why you’re overweight, don’t pretend like it doesn’t matter. There’s no need for you to look like the models in magazines. There’s no reason for you to try to be the hottest thing at work. But you need to be healthy enough to give your family confidence that you’re going to be around for a long time. You need to feel good enough about yourself to be able to walk into a room with confidence and awareness that you did your best to look your best. We’re not all blessed with the perfect body type, nor with enough money to cut and paste ourselves into the perfect body type. There is no magic trick, (& as I have proven) no magic pill that can make you who you wish you were; a person self-disciplined enough to be the best you can be.

You may be obese enough to consider a surgical procedure to help you on your journey in weight loss. You may hire a personal trainer. Weight Watchers is a great support group. There are more helps & tools to assist in losing weight today than ever before. I encourage you to begin trying one. If it doesn’t work, drop it and try something else. Keep working at it!


I’m not at my journey’s end yet, but for the first time in a VERY long time I feel pretty. For the first time in my life I feel disciplined, fit & in control of my appearance. I’m well-aware that once I reach my destination I’ll need to constantly maintain it, but I really think it’ll be worth it.

My “Get Fit/Feel Pretty” Journey, 3

Originally published on my blog, Soul Java, on Monday, February 22, 2010

Part 3

Toward the end of the Summer two things happened that helped me go to the next level in my journey to get fit and feel pretty. 1. I got an iPhone. Now, suddenly everything I was glued to the couch to do on my laptop I could be mobile and do! I could surf the web, I could write, I could listen to podcasts, I could text, call… My iPhone really & truly made a huge difference. 2ndly , our family became friends with some of the players of our community college basketball team. This was the perfect shot in the arm for me. These guys were all about movement, activity & working out. The talked about it, they challenged each other to pushups and sit ups in my living room. It was great! I was too embarrassed to ask them questions about exercise or weight loss at first, but I soaked in their conversations and after everybody was gone I’d try to do the types of exercises they did.

We went on our family vacation in September 2009; a cruise of all things! I was dreading the loads of food that would be available. But I also knew I had more focus than ever before. I brought my tunes with me and I decided I could dance my way through the delectable temptations. But my first night away from home I had a problem; we stayed in a hotel and between my kids’ entertainment and my husband’s work there was no room to do my dancing in the room! I decided I’d go dance in the workout room. “Alas! Gasp! No way!” The exercise room was FULL of mirrors! There was absolutely no way I could see my fat self dance in all those mirrors! But I was determined to do something; so I got on the treadmill. Guess what? I really liked it! I had my tunes in my ears, the handles on the machine was hiding me from the mirrors, I decided this would work! It took me nearly 45 minutes to walk 2 miles. I didn’t care how slow it was, I wasn’t there for the challenge. The same way I determined that losing extremely small amounts of weight was better than gaining small amounts, I decided moving my body in any way was better than being a couch potato.

I boarded that cruise ship knowing I was going to make use of their treadmills. The first place I went hunting for was the gym. I walked in… and nearly died! It was so intimidating! Guess what? More mirrors! Lots more equipment! Really healthy looking people who were obviously very familiar with a gym filled its every nook and cranny! My heart sank. I knew I was not going to be able to bring myself to use the gym. I found the walking track outside on the same deck as the pool. But I decided I’d rather walk past all those fat, half dressed bodies than use that daunting gym. (It was surprising how many “not fit” people didn’t mind getting nearly nude. Surprising and gross!)

I had something else helping me along at this point too; crazy mood swings! I’ve always been an expressive person, but never a moody person. Since around 2007 I had learned what it felt like to suddenly, without warning, be ready to snatch somebody’s head off! I could suddenly cry without warning too! Since the Summer of 2008 I was still dealing with a lack of self-worth. I discovered on the cruise that walking balanced all those emotional swings! I had always heard that exercise released endorphins in the brain that causes us to feel happier. This was the first time I experienced it. It was AWESOME! When I would get too impatient with my children I’d go walk the track. When I felt sad I’d go walk the track. I woke up in the morning before everybody else and went walking. I walked meals I’d eaten off. The favorite part of that cruise for me was walking. But one morning the wind was atrocious! I was feeling especially panicky and KNEW if I could just walk a few minutes I’d feel better. So in trepidation I poked my head into the gym; it was nearly empty! For the rest of the cruise I used the gym’s treadmills and slowly watched my speed and endurance gain momentum.

I lost 2 pounds on the cruise!

When I got home I kept walking. I got up to 3 miles but it was taking me around 40-45 minutes. At this point I was also doing some Pilates, Abs workouts, and other muscle building, flab-fighting things. I had become comfortable talking to my basketball playing friend about exercise, how to do certain ones, etc. During the Thanksgiving break in November 2009, I was telling my friend how I knew I could walk more than 3 miles but I couldn’t take more time doing it than I already was. He told me I should try running. I was completely against it. I knew right away it was too challenging. I’ve seen runners. They are strong, disciplined, and they tend to thrive on challenge. I really felt like I couldn’t run. But he told me he wasn’t saying I should run 3 miles like I was walking. And that I didn’t need to worry about how long it took me. And that I was allowed to stop and catch my breath when I needed. So, the next day I ran. I thought I was going to die! But I reminded myself that I didn’t let myself stop and catch my breath AND I made myself run a full mile when I didn’t have to. Plus there was something in me that didn’t want to tell my basketball friend that I was a wimp! So, I ran again the next day… And the next, and the next. I started running to help with my moods just as I had done walking on the cruise. Plus it didn’t take nearly as long as the walking did to have that endorphin release! There are some days when running is as hard as it was that first day, but most of the time its exhilarating!

When I went to my doctor the last time he was emotionally moved at my success and was asking MY advice for his own weight loss! I’ve not reached my goal weight yet, but I’m on my way!

I’ll write in part 4 about what my goal is, how its morphed, and what natural vitamins & minerals I take to help in my “get fit/feel pretty journey”.

…to be continued.