Rise And Shine!

This Instagram post was a powerful and life-saving pic to wake up to today. My weekend had not gone well. Then to top off that sundae of misery, a trip with my children that I was very much looking forward to had to be canceled. It was the straw that broke the camels back. Me. I'm the camel. First, I sat in my car and boo-hoo'd for a half hour. Next, I took my broken-back to my room, turned off my phone and boo-hoo'd some more. 

It was ridiculous. But it wasn't the first time I've been that far gone. Last night I cried as I thought of the misery of mankind. I watched documentaries about civilizations utterly destroyed, and these justified my tears. I thought of friends who've gone on to Heaven and I vocally envied them, telling God that it was unfair to leave me here so miserable. I wrapped myself in a blanket of sorrow and worry. I woke up this morning still cocooned in the realities of my plight. There is no chance of change. Life really is as daunting as it feels. I'm TIRED of working to believe in the impossible. 

Its possible you've been shrouded in these types of realities as well. They're not imagined experiences and difficulties. They're FACT. If you've endured multiple traumas and tragedies then it's likely you've, like me, experienced the straight out COMFORT found in succumbing to the realities of sorrow and worry. It's called "habit." When a person goes through a difficulty they respond with tears, or anger. They experience a "negative" emotion. And it's not inappropriate to do so. In fact, I believe it's healthy to do so. But the danger is in your brain experiencing this reaction enough times that it decides, "This behavior is the new normal." And as shocking as it is to learn, that negative emotion literally begins to feel COMFORTING. There is solice found in those tears, or worry, or sorrow, or anger.

When you realize that you'd rather be alone, crying in a dark room than doing almost ANYTHING ELSE, then please realize you've developed a nasty habit. If it's any help to you to know; THAT WAS ME. And as I've described my behaviors of last night, sometimes it still is me. It's not ok to remain in this state. 

It's not ok for your personal health. But as I'm aware depression causes you to have absolutely NO CARE for your personal health, I'll go ahead and point out that it's not good for your family either. From your very offspring, to your nieces and nephews. Unfortunately, when one's lack of family is part of the sorrow-trigger, you must realize that "family" is yet a sufficient reason to rise and shine. I don't care how distant in location or relation the family is from you. The very fact that a relative in the future will find you in the research of your family tree is enough to say, "I need to behave better than this for the sake of my family."

The GREATEST reason it's not ok for you to remain in a depressive state is the fact that God has plans for you. We are so enamored with the idea that if God is using someone for His glory, that person will not experience negative emotions. We imagine that someone being used of God has nothing going wrong in their life. They have God's attention and favor, therefore life is a bowl-of-cherries and a bed-of-roses.

It won't take anything but surface research to discover that EVERY "hero of the faith" in scripture experienced choking on some cherry pits. They felt the prick and sting of the rose-thorns in said proverbial luxuries. Being used of God to be a help and benefit in our community does not make one free of problems. But it does make that person more easily available to some benefits not found at home in a dark room.

Our experiences may have created habits that snowball worry, sadness, anger, and depression. These feelings may teel like a comfort zone. And where this Instagram post shows Charlie Brown under such a comforter, I also have in my head the image of dear Linus going the extra mile in portable comfort and carrying his blankey around with him. 

S-t-o-p

[new word]

i-t.

We imagine that "hope" feels fabulous. (We are obsessed with feeling good.) But the scripture lets us know that hope deferred makes the heart sick. Hope can hurt. It can be as uncomfortable as someone ripping the warm, cozy comforter from your sleepy body, exposing you to a crisply-cooled, air conditioned room. Faith can have the same feeling as the light switch being turned on first thing in the morning. We would prefer to stay in the dark, snuggled in our comforter of depression. 

NOTHING triggers anger in me quicker than a rude awakening. I need to wake up in the dark, wrap more clothes around me so the temperature change outside the covers isn't too abrasive. And I need SILENCE. I then need to have a cup of coffee in this slowly-but-surely environment, and THEN, after an unspecified period of time, I'll be happy about being awake. 

Hope and Faith are a necessity. We must accept the reality that hope and faith are not soft, fluffy Care Bears. They can be downright uncomfortable. But THEY ARE LIFE! 

The good news is that faith and hope are also habit-forming. I can pull myself out of a stupor much quicker and easier than I used to be able to. And while I can't deny the realities of facts I really don't want to be a part of my life, I can testify that MUCH good is also a part of my life. I've had some brand new, amazing things come into my life because I kicked off the comfort of worry. I start my physical self with coffee, but I start my inner-self with Jesus. 

Nibbling the Bread of Life (Bible) for breakfast, and sipping from the Cup of the Holy Ghost, I am able to think about some pretty awesome things I want to see in my life. And when I think about goodness, I begin to hope. And hope helps me have the faith to believe in the impossible. 

And here's the habit I've not mentioned yet; LOVE.

In depressive states I cannot love others, and I cannot believe that anyone could love me. But when I begin to hope, and I begin to exhibit faith, I suddenly feel like singing, 

Love lifted me

Love lifted me

When nothing else could help

Love lifted me

So, good morning! Whether you're reading this at 2pm, or at 11pm...

GOOD MORNING! 

Rise and shine! 

God has great things available to those who'll kick off the comfort of worry, sorrow, and doubt! 

And God is such a considerate one... For in the same way that I want to wrap myself in warmth even as I'm forced to leave the cozy of my bedspread, Jesus himself wraps us in the comfort of the Holy Ghost to ease us into waking from the nightmare of fear and doubt. And from the better, healthier comfort of God's love we can rise to walk in newness of life! 

Rise and shine! 

https://instagram.com/p/5ZixujB0lV/

Proverbs 13:12 (KJV) 12 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but [when] the desire cometh, [it is] a tree of life.

Acts 2:26 (KJV)

Therefore did my heart rejoice, and my tongue was glad; moreover also my flesh shall rest in hope:

Romans 4:18 (KJV)

Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.

Romans 15:13 (KJV)

Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 (KJV)

But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

1 Peter 1:13 (KJV)

Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

1 Corinthians 13:13 (KJV)

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these [is] charity.

Of Fields And Friends

I left the tame pastures where grazing is blessed

Followed to desert acres where thirst never rests

You led me where Sorrow required a kiss

And Betrayal an embrace

I lost Friend Forgiveness

You introduced these companions

Not because you were cruel

But you knew of the dream I kept hidden in my skull

The pain they taught was the key to release

The passionate joy to progress in liberties

I followed you here because you said,

"For the joy of the prize you will open your head."

Now I know Sorrow like the back of my hand,

I can see him in passing when no one else can

I recognize Betrayal

And try to reconcile them all

Because that's when Forgiveness is free to come call.

Now the dream is alive and it's out in the open

Leading and calling like sirens in an ocean

And I see the green of grasses again

In patches just now, but like a great sea ahead

My shepherd whose led me thru valleys to grasses

Smiles at my skipping and glows at my laughing

He kept every tear

He felt every scream

And he used them to water the field of my dream

A Night of HOPE

As I was preparing for bed, my mind was swirling around my experiences during my own dreaded nights of tears and sorrow. Pain brought about by events and behaviors out of my control. I've also dealt with the mourning of regret due to houses I brought down on MY OWN head. There are nights of much tears, the heavens feel shut up to you, the ground seems to hunger for you. These times of growth and rebirth are trying to one's sanity.

But I was also thinking of others' sorrows...

I was thinking of the meal I had just delivered to a teen who had lost his entire family TWICE. I don't know the story of his birth family, but his foster family had been killed in an auto accident.

I was thinking of my parents' loss of my baby sister. Clearly, my loss as well. Indeed, the whole world's loss. But as I was two years old when she died, I don't remember the mourning. But my parents will still cry, even after nearly forty years.

I've been reading the book of Jeremiah, and his persecution has been so "current" and painful to read. I don't mean to imply I am enduring persecution. I mean that such a noble, honest man of God faced persecution breaks my heart.

I was just feeling the reality that sorrow is prevelant.

So, I felt like the least I could do was to make sure that each hour a scripture was posted about "hope."

Truly, hope is of utmost importance for those in dire emotional straits. It's vital that people look for something, anything, to hope in. Hope that you won't cry. Hope that you get a better car. Hope that you find a better job. Hope that you grow your circle of friends. Hope that you learn to communicate better. Hope that you gain more wisdom. Hope that you behave better.

Hope is not a wish. Hope is not denial. Hope is absolute BELIEF that there is something better. Hope is of God, therefore bringing oneself into his presence is necessary to go from "wishing upon a star," to "hoping in The Lord." Hoping in The Lord will require some work on your part. But his grace is sufficient to fill in the gaps and make up for our weaknesses.

When you get a hope, then you begin to believe in scriptures such as, "you have not because you ask not."- Jesus. 
And, "If you ask anything in my name, I will do it."-Jesus
When you ask, that very act of prayer is "faith!"

Faith is the SUBSTANCE of that thing you hope for! 

Then your faith-behavior consistently repeats the steps: 
Regardless of what your eyes see, envision that hope for a brighter day. God put that seed in your spirit, so don't fear it. Enter into a place of prayer, and while His Spirit is engaging with you,  ASK IN HIS NAME!
Wash, rinse, repeat.
In other words, do it again and again!

That, my friend, is the simple formula used by mighty men and women of God from Genesis to this very day. 

So, cry if the pain is there tonight. But don't ONLY cry. Engage with God through prayer. And find HOPE!  

Psalms 16:7 (NET)
I will praise the LORD who guides me; yes, during the night I reflect and learn.

Psalms 16:8 (KJV)
I have set the LORD always before me: because [he is] at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

Psalms 16:9 (KJV)
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.

Psalms 31:24 (KJV)
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

Psalms 31:24 (NET)
Be strong and confident, all you who wait on the LORD!

Psalms 130:4 (NET)
But you are willing to forgive, so that you might be honored.

Psalms 130:5 (KJV)
I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

Psalms 147:11 (KJV)
The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.

Psalms 147:11 (NET)
The LORD takes delight in his faithful followers, and in those who wait for his loyal love.

Lamentations 3:21 (NET)
But this I call to mind; therefore I have hope:  (Khet)

Lamentations 3:22 (NET)
The LORD's loyal kindness never ceases; his compassions never end.

Psalms 42:5 (NET)
Why are you depressed, O my soul? Why are you upset? Wait for God! For I will again give thanks to my God for his saving intervention.

Psalms 42:6 (NET)
I am depressed, so I will pray to you while I am trapped here in the region of the upper Jordan, from Hermon, from Mount Mizar.

Hosea 2:15 (KJV)
And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.

Joel 3:16 (KJV)
The LORD also shall roar out of Zion, and utter his voice from Jerusalem; and the heavens and the earth shall shake: but the LORD [will be] the hope of his people, and the strength of the children of Israel.

Romans 4:18 (KJV)
Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.

Romans 5:2 (KJV)
By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

Romans 5:5 (KJV)
And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Sent from my iPhone

I'M DOING GREAT!!

Because so many people love me & are concerned by my "If I can, u can" themed posts:

I'M DOING GREAT! Lol

I'm in the will of God, therefore, I'm happy! :-)

I feel blessed beyond what I deserve!

I'm well-provided for!

I'm healthy! 

I'm surrounded by the most amazing, loving people on the planet!

I'm simply aware of how many people are hurting, feel alone in their battle, and can't see thru the haze of tear-gas the enemy has released on them. They need somebody's voice lifted up saying, "Life isn't perfect for ANYBODY! So, quit feeling like a loser, & KEEP FIGHTING!!"

But I found myself with an "Optimists' Rainbow Problem..."

People tend to imagine those who spend most of their lives on a stage, in the public eye, dressed in their best, presenting their best, as having a life without problems. And when someone "who's perfect" tries to say, "Get up! Move! Change!" It's not taken well!

I used to weigh 230 pounds. When I decided to lose the weight, gyms who were full of amazing, fit, strong, slim bodies were NOT the gyms I wanted to be a member of. I couldn't see where they'd come from, I could only see their perfect, current selves. I also didn't want to hear what anyone wearing a size 6 had to say. If, however, they showed me a pic of themselves wearing a size 16, and NOW they were a size 6... Oh yeah! I wanted to sit at their feet and hear EVERY DETAIL of how they fought their "Battle of the Bulge!"

While I DO feel like I'm living "the best life," it's not because I don't battle confusion, emotional drops, family concerns, overwhelming duties... because, WE ALL DO! 

My dad taught me, "The mark of a professional is to make what's hard look easy." I take great strides and comfort in being skilled enough to do that. Besides it putting me in the fellowship of strong, higher thinking people, it's a behavior of faith!

However, it shocked me to discover how many people think my behavior means I have nothing to worry about, that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, and therefore do not have "the credentials" to encourage them.

My posts about trials, pain, darkness, etc, is simply my way to both live my lifestyle of faith-behavior while using written blurbs  to let people know that even we who are good at positive-image hafta "cowboy up," Because it rains on the just and the unjust. Perhaps if people SEE me being all boss in life, while knowing inside I'm sweating bullets; they'll trust that if I can, they can do it too! Perhaps my candidness will be like a cheerleaders megaphone and help me bring light to more people. That's my hope and intention.

So pray for me. I'm praying for u. But don't WORRY about me! Lol I'm no better-off than u, and no worse-off than u. I just wanna make sure that the people having to fight thru a haze hear a voice even when they can't see; a voice they are confident to trust;

"I'm fighting too!"

"You're not alone!"

"Follow my voice!"

"Come in THIS direction!"

Glory2Glory2gether!!!

A 2nd Look At Joy

Periodically, you run across a person in life that for whatever reason, inspires you more than others. Some people call the reaction "chemistry." You just click. It's a feeling caused by your personal value of them. This reaction is meant to prompt goodness. (Among healthy relationships it does. We'll talk about victim/bondage relationships another day.) Because we are creatures who respond to pleasure, when we figure out a way to get the reward, we repeat the action. I have many friends, but recently the Lord allowed one of my friends to show me something about HIM that I hadn't fully realized.

God has emotions...

I'm your classic, emotional artist/musician. So, in efforts to stay in control of myself and not flip out in a destructive Van Gogh way, I've done a lot of study and research into emotions, so I've known for a long time that God is very in-touch with his emotions. If you're just starting to get to know God, remember you're created in His image. Yes, he is Almighty. Yes, he knows the end from the beginning. Yes, he can squash anyone like a little bug! But he doesn't use his power willy-nilly like that. And just because he has power, prestige & position, doesnt make him immune to emotions. What breaks your heart, or makes you happy has the same affect on him. Perhaps not the same things, but the emotional response is absolutely identical. The scripture is full of God expressing his emotions. God sings, cries, feels jealous, gets angry, laughs, and enjoys life. Don't reject him, cheat on him, or talk mean about him. Not because he'll squash you like a little bug (though he might. I guess.) But because you don't want to cause him pain. He can be a wonderful friend if you'll engage in the "dance of friendship." The dance being moments when you learn not to step on each others' toes, where you learn what makes him happy, or annoys him. And might I add, that in the "dance of friendship" the goal is never to teach, but instead to learn. One who enters any relationship with the intent to teach is indeed selfish. All healthy relationships are about LEARNING how to please, help, encourage & uplift.

After hitting some life-turbulence, I was thrown into the nasty arms of depression. (Divorce has a way of doing that. As it should since its a spiritual disturbance.) After about 2 years of this overwhelming sorrow & defeatism, I read a book called, "Happy For No Reason." And it was the perfect tool to pry me from the bottom of that terrible pit. I was doing all the things I knew to do; like pray, read my Bible, attend church, be active in ministry. But the book added some new habits for me to start practicing; like smiling, thinking thankful, deliberately banishing hopeless thoughts with hopeful ones. I had assumed the spiritual habits would create an emotion to spark the smiles, thankfulness & hopeful thoughts. But it turned out to be the opposite; when I started the purposeful behavior the depression began to release its hold.

But all this time I still had not attained an outright "joy." Now, for a Christian this is a big deal. Because "joy" is a fruit of the spirit, so it's often referred to as a "sign" that a person is not allowing the Spirit of God to work if you don't have joy. My relationship with God is not a side issue, back-burner, conscience-soother to me. To me, my relationship with God is PREEMINENT! If that's not in its proper place of "perfect" then NOTHING is or can be right! PERIOD. (By the way, "perfect" doesn't mean that I'm perfect. But rather that the relationship is in a progressive state rather than a stagnant or regressive one.)

The scripture is clear that the joy of The Lord is my strength. So for all this time I've been aware of a lack of "bubble and sparkle" in my emotions. And though I've truly been aware of healing, that lack of joy has concerned me.

"What am I doing to cause God not to put his joy in me?"

"Why won't God give me joy?"

This worry moved far from the place of "I need joy." To "Something must be wrong with my relationship with God."

So, now lets jump back to my starting story about my friend. In an effort to lift & encourage them, to show them I valued them, when they responded positively, I found myself "strengthened" to further attempt to please them. It was the classic lab rats reward system at work! A simple return of a smiley face, or an "lol," and I was inspired to do more!

That's when it hit me... 

The joy of The Lord is my strength!"

Or, "I am strengthened when I give The Lord joy!"

When I seek first to meet the needs in HIS kingdom, when I set my affections on things above I can see how God needs HIS needs met. When I give HIM some loving it gives HIM joy, and BAM! The natural result is that I gain strength and inspiration to further repeat the actions that give HIM joy!

Honestly, my own selfish inclinations blow my mind! All this time I've been so focused on MY need for joy, I haven't been able to see HIS need for joy! While I do still believe that I too will have the literal emotion we describe as joy, I'm aware that it'll never come from seeking joy. It'll come from GIVING joy!

I'm thankful and excited!!

Opposite And Equal Reaction.

For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.

Sometimes that action is so severe, so extreme, that the "opposite and equal reaction" is mind boggling.

I've been divorced for nearly three years. The repercussions have been vast and awful. I don't suggest divorce as an option to ANYBODY because of how dark and painful it makes life. I honestly don't care how "right" or "biblically OK" it is. In my case there was no hate or animosity. I had not handled my mental, emotional, nor physical health properly when I knew things were not happening right. I had not asked for help. Then suddenly, it was too late to ask for help. (Yes. Three and a half years later I still feel like it was too late. Even with all my regrets. I still feel like it was too late.) I thought a divorce would give me an emotionally clean slate. I knew it wouldn't make life "better," but I believed "different" was all I needed to heal and find my feet again.

I'm sure some day I'll write about all my concerns in coming to the decision to follow through on the divorce. But for the peace of mind of my children, I'm not going to give the details publicly that led to my decision. I'm a "sharer." I grew up believing that everything I learned and experienced was somehow to be conveyed so that others could better make their own decisions based off the info I provided. So, I'm sure someday I will even write publicly about the details. But CERTAINLY not before my children know the cause and affects.

Therefore, this writing is not about the details of my divorce. I'm deeply sorry for the pain it causes you to know of this disappointing part of my life. But I want to write about the very purposeful, daily "opposite and equal reactions" I had to do in order to bring some sanity and healing into my life.

I have learned through this experience that the more extreme the tragedy, the more extreme our reaction must be. Our reactions cannot be "knee-jerk reactions." They can't be uncontrolled outbursts that send everyone in our community spinning. The initial action will send more than enough people spinning. Getting balance back into life will not magically "happen" one day. The "equal and opposite reaction" to balance out the turmoil must be planned and very purposeful. And it must also match the impact of the initial action.

I had always been a naturally happy person. I grew up sheltered (which I think is HEALTHY for a child. We need MORE sheltering.) I grew up with cheering parents. I grew up in a close-knit, church community. I'm still friends with the exact same people I was in first grade with; from teachers to children. So, I was exactly as a person who grew up in that environment was SUPPOSED to be; happy, healthy, & productive.

Before the divorce I had already experienced panic attacks, depression, illness; all the typical things associated with the spirit of a person being wounded, and indeed crushed. But I didn't realize what it all was associated with. So, I assumed this "clean slate" was going to fix all that. It did not because I wasn't writing anything NEW on the slate.

The natural result of tragedy brings some very legitimate actions and behaviors; such as crying, feeling angry, getting protective of our wounds, etc. But what happens more often than not, is that these behaviors that were at first triggered by healthy emotional drives becomes nothing more than a HABIT. The crying, the negative, depressive thinking that grief causes becomes destructive habits that we carry out even after the tragedy is behind us. For each person, for each situation, the "behind me" time period will vary. So I can't say, "After a year you need to dry it up and not feel emotional pain any more." I don't know what a "healthy time frame" is. We'll leave that to the professionals. I just know what I've seen and experienced. In my case, good things were occurring all around me, but my "happy response" had been deadened. And I needed to get it cranked back up!

About a year and a half after my divorce; praying daily for death to take me, disconnect from friends and family, an utter barrenness of my former creativity, incessant sadness, negative thinking, etc. I ran across a book at my library called, "Happy For No Reason." It was an informative book. But the information about "smiling" stood out like a neon light. I had, of course, been praying throughout all this time. In fact, I was praying more often, for longer periods, and in much deeper ways than ever. DURING prayer I had relief. But as soon as I was done praying, I would be back to "basket case" status again. So I started a regime to live by for when I stood up from prayer.

My new disciplines were extreme to everyone around me. They were even extreme to me! I had NEVER needed to PLAN to smile before in my life! Joy and loud laughter was "just what we did" growing up! Creativity was written in every strain of my DNA! Leadership was natural, especially leading people into fun and a light ambiance. But sadly, no more. And it was downright awful to me to actually have to PLAN to smile.

And because interaction with God is, I feel, so vital to our health and well-being, I had to include all the spiritual elements in this "Happy Exercise" as well.

I had started losing weight and was well aware of the repetitive disciplines required to lose weight and exercise. I had experienced the results of reusing the same muscles repetitively and how it made the workout easier and easier. So I believed my brain could be "built" in the same way. As a matter of fact, I was aware of how dendrites worked within the brain, so I KNEW I could teach my brain new tricks, new habits.

In my simple layman's terms, dendrites are what causes habits. For every action you make a dendrite is made. And every time you repeat that action more dendrites are made. Those dendrites begin to group up with the earlier dendrite you made. The grouping gets bigger and stronger. This is how balance is built in a baby learning to walk. This is how language is learned. This is how habits are made. When you cease the action, the dendrites deteriorate, therefore you lose the habit.

So based on my experience with repetitive exercise, my little understanding of dendrites, I created my "Happy Exercise." I set alarms to go off every hour, from 9am to 2pm, my office hours.

When the "Happy Exercise" alarm went off the first thing I did was smile. I just smiled. Whether I was in a meeting, sitting at my desk, reading, whatever I was doing, I just smiled.

The next thing I did was stand and do something active. At first it was a walk. But I began to work in an office, so instead I closed and locked my office door and did some toning and strength poses.

I also read scripture and prayed. And I would very deliberately close my eyes and think of at least one thing I was thankful for.

Depending on the day, I could relax and take my time in this process. Other days I had to go quickly through the routine.

I still do this every hour, every day. And it's made a HUGE difference! I don't feel giddy when I do it. As a matter of fact, I still feel that funk sometimes, but when my alarm goes off I MAKE MYSELF go through the routine, and I'm always better because of it. I was correct about it becoming a "needed" habit. If the office is in an extra busy season, getting ready for a conference, or something out of the ordinary, and I push off my "Happy Exercise," I'm as bad as a drug addict trying to find a fix! OK. Maybe not "as bad," but it's definitely missed by my mind, body and spirit. I've said a couple times that I was going to change it to every-other-hour since I'm doing so much better. But so far I can't. I love it too much!

It was an extreme action to take, but I was in an extremely bad state of mind. An "opposite and equal" reaction was required. Extremity required extremity.

So, whether your dealing with divorce, or death, or chronic physical pain. The list of tragedies we each find ourselves in is far too long. But my encouragement to you is that you not forget that you MUST take control of WHAT YOU CAN! You can't control that somebody you loved died, but you CAN control what you eat during that period of mourning. You can't control getting cancer, but you CAN control what your watch, or read while you receive treatment. You can't control somebody hurting and rejecting you, but you CAN control your own behavior. You can't control A LOT of things, but I have found you CAN control how often you smile.

#Happy #Habit

You may find peace & faith in praying these scriptures I pray and claim for myself;
http://musingdenee.blogspot.com/2013/04/scriptures-i-pray-claim-declare.html?spref=tw

Here's a video of me demonstrating how easy it is to JUST SMILE! =)

Sit, Eat, & Talk [Part 2]

Sit, Eat, and Talk [Part 2]
This is part 2 of a 2 part series.

EAT
I am not going to belabor this point simply because this is the ONE point that most everyone agrees on. We need to eat more healthful foods to be healthier. HOW healthy you need to eat is where opinions get loud. Also, we get loud about WHAT is healthy. It is a heavily touted topic in the media. It is literally obsessed over, and stands are made that can make us feel like losers or idiots regardless of how disciplined we may have become in our eating habits.

My personal soapbox is "moderation." I eat mostly fresh, whole, raw foods. But I also eat bread, butter, pizza, burgers, etc. It is my personal habit that if I eat at, say McDonald's, I order a plain hamburger, small kids-sized fry, and a small diet coke, no ice. I throw one of the slices of the bun out and find myself more than satisfied. I do not do this daily. But I will eat this way a couple times in a month without fear or guilt.

I think a good place to start learning about better nutritional choices is with a program called Eat This Not That. (@eatthisnotthat on Twitter) I also value Weight Watchers as an excellent education program. For me, I did a lot of growing and morphing in my foodie education as I lost over 60 pounds in the course of 3 years. Some people might need to lose 60 pounds in a few months. It is not the healthiest way, but set your goals and go for it. Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP!!

TALK
Okay. In part one I said we would bring up the couch again, so here it is. Meals eaten on a couch with or without the family present is not how food is supposed to be eaten. It fosters laziness and depression simultaneously, and does not allow your brain or digestive tract to do their jobs. I grew up with eating a meal involving family conversation. At breakfast it may have only been me eating while my mom bustled around the kitchen, but we were talking. Lunch, of course, was at school, and I LOVED that time of day with my friends! Dinner included every member of our family around the table. No exceptions. BOTH parents and all three children. Through our teens this remained mandatory. As autonomous adults we are STILL called to my mother's table once a week, and the wrath is great enough that if we MUST miss, we sit through our business meetings with that familiar knot in our stomach that we acquired as sixteen year olds, knowing the present pleasure will NOT be worth the soon to ensue wrath.

Sitting down to eat together was moved to the top of my priorities list as this past summer ended in my own household. My children and I did not sit together for a meal nearly as often as was needed. I don't always enjoy every meal since we have been living out my dreams of familial meals, but nothing is easy at first. My kids were not used to deferring to the other sibling in conversations. If they are tense, I'm tense. But after nearly three months we are getting better at it, and we are all enjoying it a little more each time. It is my earnest hope that by the time they are in college I will have mastered whatever that "look" is that my mother gives if we so much as insinuate we might not make a meal. I can already tell I am going to need that "look."

Again, as with sitting versus lying or slouching, your brain gets bossy to all your bodily functions when you eat your meal in an upright position, WITH other people, as you talk to each other.

Additionally, our moods are affected by brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. Among the more important ones are serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, melatonin, insulin, and prostaglandins. The first one that should pop out at you is insulin. Over 25,000,000 Americans have diabetes. That is 8.3% of our population! Our moods are GREATLY affected by insulin. Besides what you put in your mouth, you can help balance insulin levels by involving yourself in healthy communication! Serotonin is another one that you should be aware of your ability to contribute to its production. It helps give you a sense of control. It is also related to memory, sexual function, social behaviors, and the ability to learn. And GUESS where this important neurotransmitter MUST have ease of freedom to do its job in your body... IN YOUR DIGESTIVE TRACT!! Ninety percent of it is synthesized there, and this feel-good chemical's release is connected to healthy communication.

The command station of your brain works best in a social environment. These amazing chemicals mentioned help ward off depression. These neurotransmitters are triggered by being with people and talking, sharing, listening, and loving. People who are married live longer than single people. People who are members of churches, synagogues and clubs also live longer, healthier lives. People who beat cancer tend to have strong social ties. Talking with people while you eat a meal makes your brain a very happy manager indeed!

Sit, Eat, and Talk
When you sit at a table for a healthful meal with people and talk during the meal, your brain sends out an ARMY of workers! It is amazing!
Your eyes say, "Look at that food!"
Your nose says, "Smells delish!"
Your brain says, "CLEARLY our human is about to eat because they are sitting upright." And then he bellows down to your midsection, "Open up the chemical supply! We've got to break this food down into fuel for all of us!"
Then you start talking and listening, and your brain exclaims, "Good gracious! Dopamine! Get yourself and all those touchy-feely buddies of yours out here!"

It does not take very long for you to go through these motions and create these habits. Sitting to eat healthful, portioned foods, while talking with people, will start helping your body feel better for you!

When your body feels better, your dreams feel attainable! When your body feels better, your spouse looks more attractive! When your body feels better, you have more self confidence!

What an amazing body God created for us to inhabit!

Le Muser; Denée Richardson
www.deneerichardson.com

~Thanks to Lisa Velie for editing.

Knock Out Negative Emotions

When I was a child there was a playground rhyme that went like this;
See my finger?
See my thumb?
See my fist?
You'd better run!
It was definitely said by the tough kids, taunting wimps, flaunting their powerful five year old muscles with the rhyme.

I've given one black eye in my life. My friend, Donald, was teasing me on the playground at school one day saying I liked a little boy named Matthew! It was quite true of course. But for whatever reason I felt my honor and respectability was at stake. So I started chasing Donnie, swinging my fists, telling him to be quiet! Then suddenly, without warning Donnie turned around to end the chase and be done with the game; Wham! You know that comical line from the '90's, "Run into my fist." That's literally what happened! It was the classic case of being in the wrong time in the wrong place and my fist caught him squarely in the eye! I felt terrible hitting my friend! It was on accident! But at least now I'm aware I can give a black eye if I need to!

I've had a new "friend" chasing me around this playground of "life" lately. She goes by the name, Emotions. We have a very tight bond. For whatever reason another childhood rhyme comes to mind;
There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good
She was very, very good
But when she was bad
She was horrid

Indeed, when emotions are good, they are very, very good! Laughter literally releases more feel-good endorphins that lead to feelings of calm & peace. Emotions cause us to feel tender and sweet toward our loved ones. They cause us to feel compassion toward less fortunate humanity, that feeling then pushes us into an action of helping.

But when emotions are bad, they ARE horrid. There are events that can occur that send our emotions into a tailspin. It could be an unfaithful friend, or a death in the family, or the illness of a child. It could be the environment of a job, or even worse, the loss of a job.

My emotions went into a tailspin about five years ago and I had no clue what was going on! I came from positive parents. I am naturally inclined to be positive and bright. Suddenly (at least it snuck up on me so silently it felt like "suddenly) I was needing to cry for no reason. I would feel bursts of anger like I'd never known. And I was sick alllll-the-tiiiime! I had hormone tests done, because of course as a woman, PMS can be blamed for everything emotional and spasmatic! My hormones were PERFECTLY balanced. My iron was even higher than most women of my age. My thyroid was good. I went to homeopathic doctors, and traditional doctors. There was nothing physically wrong with me!

Through prayer, counsel, and some major life-upheavaling decisions I began to realize my problem was literally "all in my head." I had allowed some damage to occur to some foundational elements of health and well-being and now my whole structure was reeling from the damage. I HAD to get proactive on repairing that foundation for several reasons; 1. I still had kids to raise and they were entering their very vulnerable teen years. 2. I love my job as a music director and leader in my church. 3. I had a LOT of future ahead.

More prayer ensued. More counsel. More research. I knew the joy of the Lord was my strength. I knew my answers were in prayer. But I was very confused at myself and very frustrated with my counsellors because the prayer and the joy didn't seem to be helping! Then I happened across a book at my public library. ("Happened?" I believe God set up the encounter.) The book was called, "Happy For No Reason." It wasn't a Christian book. But it was a great resource to help me. What the book did for me was showed me HOW TO access the joy & peace that was already within me!

We've just finished celebrating Christmas and I received from my parents a gift I've been wanting for a while; an iPad2! Here's why my iPad is relevant (besides the fact that I'm currently writing from it! Yippee!) The iPad2 was purchased, paid for in-full, in other words, no ongoing payments were required. The iPad2 was gift wrapped by my mother. The iPad2 was laying beneath her garland bedecked antique piano. For the three to four weeks leading up to Christmas my iPad2... (Sorry! I just get giddy saying "iPad2!) MY iPad2was right there! I walked within inches of it more times than I can count. I KNEW IT WAS THERE! she had asked me if I wanted an iPad2, she called me from the store to find out if I wanted 3G on it. So I actually KNEW I had an iPad2 and I knew the day it was purchased for my benefit!

When did I benefit from this lovely, magical creation of Steve Jobs? The day I TOOK ACTION! And THAT'S what "Happy For No Reason" showed me how to do; take action. I definitely had God's attention in prayer. I would cry my heartache out to him and his spirit would minister to me so intimately. I would even speak in other tongues. But I'd leave that time of prayer and worship and still be lugging around such heavy, oppressive emotions!

Through reading that book (which you must read yourself since I don't have time to rewrite it here) I learned that I had to extend my arms, use the ligaments and muscles in my hands to receive the gift already mine, and I had to tear the paper off, and I had to open the box, and I had to power on the device in order to benefit! (Ok. I just sorta flashed back to that wonderful moment when I got this amazing device currently being tapped and swiped with love!) But that's what I had to also do with my body and brain in order to benefit from the joy and peace already mine via the Holy Ghost!

Though no particular chapter in the book said to do a Happy Exercise, or what exactly that Happy Exercise would be, I combined actions I saw in various chapters and created my OWN Happy Exercise! I knew from my experience in working out that what was required to build the strength of a muscle was repetition. What is required to build a good habit, or tear down bad habits is repetition. So I set the alarm on my phone to go off every hour and I began delivering a five-fingered fist to the breadbasket of bad emotions.

1. Smile for no reason.
When my Happy Exercise alarm goes off. (I have mine set for every hour.) I SMILE! Research shows smiling releases happy hormones into your brain. Women who've had Botox done on the frown lines around their mouth had relief from depression because frowning causes your brain to produce negative, stress inducing hormones. So every hour, for no reason, I SMILE to release the happy endorphins!

2. Think happy thoughts.
I think of someone, someplace, or something that I like. It may b a song, or a book, or a miracle, or an act of kindness I heard about. It may be something that happened so long ago I can't even remember the details. But I very PURPOSEFULLY think a happy thought.

3. Pray.
I ask God to help me be happier. I ask God to heal whatever is causing me emotional or physical pain. I ask God to help the people I'm worried about. I thank God for his blessings. Sometimes this lasts 30 seconds. Sometimes it last 30 minutes. But I purposefully connect myself to my Creator during this Happy Exercise.

4. Do an exercise.
Exercise releases more of those happy endorphins into your brain and bloodstream. So whether you want to lose weight or not. Just MOVE YOUR BODY! Sometimes I go for a walk. Sometimes lock my office door and do 10 pushups. Sometimes I annoy my co-workers by running up and down the stairs three or four times. Sometimes I just stand up from my desk and touch my toes. But I purposefully exercise my body.

5. Compliment someone.
I either write a quick, short notecard or I shoot off a text or fb message to someone letting them know something they have done that I appreciate. I tell someone I think they're beautiful. I tell someone about a good deed I overheard they did and how it impressed me. I tell someone how their conduct under pressure inspired me.

And now we're back where I started...
See my finger?
See my thumb?
See my fist?
You'd better run!

Now I know how to show my horrid emotions exactly who is boss of me! In those five exercises I am deliberately raising my fist to sadness, negativity, oppression, and doubt and delivering a very complete KO! Do I still feel sadness? Of course! Do I still have bad days? Yep. And as long as I have blood pumping through my veins I'll hafta keep on guard against negativity. But NOW I know what and how to get my inner army of joy-bots moving and grooving, taking back territory that rightfully belongs to me.

If you've been dealing with the effects of bad emotions, I hope you'll begin doing Happy Exercises with me. If you have a friend dealing with depression I hope you'll invite them to join me AND YOU in doing Happy Exercises.

Negativity is the enemy and I now know how to raise my fist to it!