THIS Is the Rest

Matthew 14:23

After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,

At the beginning of this chapter we gain insight into an emotional season Christ was handling.
John, his cousin, ministry-opener, and fellow kingdom-laborer, had been beheaded. Whereas with Jesus' friend, Lazerus, on his death account we get the famous, clear, emotional description, "Jesus wept."
But in verse thirteen we can read between the lines as we see Jesus trying to find solitude. I feel certain that the man, Christ Jesus, needed a place to mourn privately.

Instead of privacy, he finds himself surrounded by other people also needing to heal. Some of these people were likely also followers of John, therefore mourning their own loss. Others of them may have been seeking a better political ally than their immoral king, Herod. Still others were likely there simply because of a sincere hunger to be closer to God. Jesus left his quiet place and ministered to them in word and deed, miraculously feeding thousands.

But it seems to me that Jesus still hadn't found his personal healing or completion of mourning, because immediately after he ministered to the people he again tried to find solitude. He didn't even want his disciples around; he sent them away in a boat. And it was that selfsame boat that a storm and waves began to beat upon.

Now we find Jesus in a situation you and I may find ourselves in; days when we're drained, yet still so busy. We desperately need solitude and healing. And we responsibly try to seek it out. We may set aside a few days on our calendars, take a vacation, or go for a workout of some kind. We can see all the activity that wiped us out, and from the same state we can see what's left to do. Jesus truly understands this.

Jesus stood on that mountain, the place he had chosen to refresh himself, and was able to see the place of ministry where he'd fed the thousands. It was a situation that included mental, spiritual, and physical outpouring while already in a state of mourning. And from that same mountain he was able to see the next and immediate need of his closest friends trying to survive a storm. He could have chosen to stay on the mountain in solitude. People would have understood; John had been martyred, and he had just been the superstar, miracle worker even in his grief. But he left his place of solitude and took care of yet another need.

The question we need answered is:
"How was he able to expend himself again so immediately?"
The answer is that he did more than "get away from it all."
He secluded himself, yes. But he regenerated himself through interaction with God.
His "rest" was prayer.

You may feel drained. You may have given to your family, your job, your community, your church, ALL you can. I advise that rather than complain and fester over our responsibility to minister, or our inability to go on a vacation, that we follow Christ's example and simply take in a few hours of solitude, alone in prayer. Certainly sources such as resorts, or cruises, or shopping therapy, or whatever your sugar-stick is, have their place. These can and should be enjoyed.

But time alone with God will get us back at HIS business more quickly. And doing God's business will be where we see and experience our greatest life moments.

VERSE OF THE DAY: John 11:14

VERSE OF THE DAY: John 11:14

SONG: https://www.dropbox.com/s/5a5pnomkeif5s9e/John%2011%2014.mp3 

John 11:14

Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead.

We know that God is love. We know that when God came to earth as the man, Christ Jesus, he spoke peace & calmed a storm. We know that Jesus was so kind and approachable that children were comfortable & happy to receive a hug from him.

Sometimes, however, Jesus must take on a role of cold, hard reality. That's what we find Jesus doing in John 11:14. In this verse he was not saying, "peace be still." He was not saying, "Let the children come!" In this verse he was lowering the boom about reality, saying it "plainly."

Sometimes Jesus does this in our lives as well. He requires us to face and accept a hard fact.

But we can never become so overwhelmed with the shock and emotion caused by the reality that we lose faith in God's love for us. Regardless of the pain, God is at work for us. He will never leave or forsake us. He will walk through the difficulties of life with us.

THOUGHTS AND DISCUSSIONS

What "realities" have you had to face?

What emotions did you feel?

Do you feel you found a way to trust God's love?

COMMITMENT

Tell God your thoughts & feelings.

Ask forgiveness for any time you may have doubted his love.

Ask for his help to think and behave as a disciple of Christ.

Tell God (and possibly yourself, and those you're accountable to) that you will strive to handle difficulties with behaviors of faith in God's love for you. 

ABOUT THIS DEVOTIONAL:

Please, share it! 

The Verse of the Day is taken from a selection of Bible memory verses, compiled for memorization by the United Pentecostal Church International, for the Bible Quizzing program.

Denée writes & records each verse as an individual song to aid the memorization process. You can find the links to purchase the songs at Denée's website:

www.DeneeRichardson.com. 

A Night of HOPE

As I was preparing for bed, my mind was swirling around my experiences during my own dreaded nights of tears and sorrow. Pain brought about by events and behaviors out of my control. I've also dealt with the mourning of regret due to houses I brought down on MY OWN head. There are nights of much tears, the heavens feel shut up to you, the ground seems to hunger for you. These times of growth and rebirth are trying to one's sanity.

But I was also thinking of others' sorrows...

I was thinking of the meal I had just delivered to a teen who had lost his entire family TWICE. I don't know the story of his birth family, but his foster family had been killed in an auto accident.

I was thinking of my parents' loss of my baby sister. Clearly, my loss as well. Indeed, the whole world's loss. But as I was two years old when she died, I don't remember the mourning. But my parents will still cry, even after nearly forty years.

I've been reading the book of Jeremiah, and his persecution has been so "current" and painful to read. I don't mean to imply I am enduring persecution. I mean that such a noble, honest man of God faced persecution breaks my heart.

I was just feeling the reality that sorrow is prevelant.

So, I felt like the least I could do was to make sure that each hour a scripture was posted about "hope."

Truly, hope is of utmost importance for those in dire emotional straits. It's vital that people look for something, anything, to hope in. Hope that you won't cry. Hope that you get a better car. Hope that you find a better job. Hope that you grow your circle of friends. Hope that you learn to communicate better. Hope that you gain more wisdom. Hope that you behave better.

Hope is not a wish. Hope is not denial. Hope is absolute BELIEF that there is something better. Hope is of God, therefore bringing oneself into his presence is necessary to go from "wishing upon a star," to "hoping in The Lord." Hoping in The Lord will require some work on your part. But his grace is sufficient to fill in the gaps and make up for our weaknesses.

When you get a hope, then you begin to believe in scriptures such as, "you have not because you ask not."- Jesus. 
And, "If you ask anything in my name, I will do it."-Jesus
When you ask, that very act of prayer is "faith!"

Faith is the SUBSTANCE of that thing you hope for! 

Then your faith-behavior consistently repeats the steps: 
Regardless of what your eyes see, envision that hope for a brighter day. God put that seed in your spirit, so don't fear it. Enter into a place of prayer, and while His Spirit is engaging with you,  ASK IN HIS NAME!
Wash, rinse, repeat.
In other words, do it again and again!

That, my friend, is the simple formula used by mighty men and women of God from Genesis to this very day. 

So, cry if the pain is there tonight. But don't ONLY cry. Engage with God through prayer. And find HOPE!  

Psalms 16:7 (NET)
I will praise the LORD who guides me; yes, during the night I reflect and learn.

Psalms 16:8 (KJV)
I have set the LORD always before me: because [he is] at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

Psalms 16:9 (KJV)
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.

Psalms 31:24 (KJV)
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

Psalms 31:24 (NET)
Be strong and confident, all you who wait on the LORD!

Psalms 130:4 (NET)
But you are willing to forgive, so that you might be honored.

Psalms 130:5 (KJV)
I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

Psalms 147:11 (KJV)
The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.

Psalms 147:11 (NET)
The LORD takes delight in his faithful followers, and in those who wait for his loyal love.

Lamentations 3:21 (NET)
But this I call to mind; therefore I have hope:  (Khet)

Lamentations 3:22 (NET)
The LORD's loyal kindness never ceases; his compassions never end.

Psalms 42:5 (NET)
Why are you depressed, O my soul? Why are you upset? Wait for God! For I will again give thanks to my God for his saving intervention.

Psalms 42:6 (NET)
I am depressed, so I will pray to you while I am trapped here in the region of the upper Jordan, from Hermon, from Mount Mizar.

Hosea 2:15 (KJV)
And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.

Joel 3:16 (KJV)
The LORD also shall roar out of Zion, and utter his voice from Jerusalem; and the heavens and the earth shall shake: but the LORD [will be] the hope of his people, and the strength of the children of Israel.

Romans 4:18 (KJV)
Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.

Romans 5:2 (KJV)
By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

Romans 5:5 (KJV)
And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Sent from my iPhone

Handling the Hurting

We have to use wisdom in handling the hurting because until you've experienced something for yourself, you do not have the ability to truly understand someone else's experience. You may try to do so by using your imagination, but that's based on your solid opinions, which was formed via your upbringing, which was shaped by your parent’s culture.

I had both of my kids by Caesarian section, so I relate more to people who have had surgery than to women who have gone through the natural childbirth experience. I am AWARE that the pain the mother experiences, the length of time enduring labor, and the concern of the dad, all adds up to an amazing dramatic moment when the child is delivered. But it is strictly my imagination that conjures up what that is like. For me, I was groggy from anesthesia, then within a very short time a slimy, tiny human was displayed from behind a sheet/curtain for about five seconds, then I went to sleep. No tears. No drama. Just baby. Therefore, I never have that "Yeah! Right!" moment other moms have when they connect over their birth stories.

I've discovered this is the case in traumatic life events as well. You may have experienced the pain of divorce, but it is NOT the pain of death, and the two can only relate as closely perhaps, as someone who’s experienced natural childbirth vs. Caesarian, or adoption. All cases resulted in parentage, but they are NOT the same. Divorce, death, losing a home, having a child run away; they all produce confusion and pain, but they are not the same experiences with slight differences, they are very different experiences with slight similarities.

So, when you are trying to help someone who has been wounded by a tragedy of life, the most important posture you can take is one of very little opinion. People trying to offer advice and instruction mean well. But it doesn't feel like love or kindness to the one hurting. It feels judgmental. It does not feel like support to the one hurting. It feels like what little strength one has is being stripped away.

It is hard to trust people. That is why we should be cautious in sharing our opinions about how people should be handling THEIR crisis. We love these hurting people. We can see how vulnerable they are. So we do the only thing we know to do; describe to them what we see they've done wrong that got them in their present dilemma. We also tend to be driven to tell them what they should be doing now. It is not out of malice. It is not some devious, twisted plot to make their life even worse than it is. It is actually because you love them very much! However, diving into their storm armed only with concern and emotion is the equivalent of watching a loved one wrestle a bear. EVERYBODY is freaked out by the event. But if we are not careful, in our attempts to shoot the bear, we shoot the loved one.

When you have been thrust into the awkward position of handling the hurting, you should know that the most painful things well-meaning people do is to say what you think the hurting person is thinking and doing based on your own imagination. Do you really KNOW what they're thinking, or WHY they're behaving or deciding what they are? Have you bothered to ASK?

What generally happens is, we assume, then form our own opinions based on our own assumptions. The one we're trying to help has not participated in any part of the process; except maybe at the end where what is meant to bring them clarity ends up confusing and simply adding to the weight of their pain.

So, if you have a friend or family member scaring you because of behavior being acted out due to life-upheaval, the most helpful thing you can do is not to offer guidance, but rather ask gentle questions AND LISTEN.

"Are you afraid? What are you afraid of?"
"Do you need me to do anything differently?"

If they trust you enough to answer your questions, likely they will start spilling out more of what is causing their pain and behavior. When they tell you more, you'll be better able to "diagnose" them and properly "treat" them. But even at this point you should not necessarily start advising. What you want to do is sit there quietly, listening with a heart of compassion, and you're going to keep doing that until something AMAZING happens, which is that they ask YOU a question, "What would you do?" Or "What do you think?"

It might take them a while to come around to the point where they are comfortable answering your questions. Especially if they are gun-shy by previous conversations, with you or someone else. But if you will patiently and compassionately play this role right, they will come around.

If they are not talking freely to you about their pain, and not asking you for advice, then they are scared of you. I know if you have always considered them your best friend, or you are the family member, or the counselor, that is hard to accept. But be encouraged, because if you create a healing, loving, environment, they WILL come check it out. If it is legit you will be allowed to be a part of their healing. Feeling frustrated you can't seem to do anything right is understandable. But being angry at them will accomplish nothing in your relationship. If they're the "patient" and you're the "doctor," you have to explore the "medicines" until you find the cure. And pray, pray, pray for them.

The other way to help someone going through a pain you have not experienced is to support them. This can be tricky if you do not approve of what they are doing. But it is possible. It is possible to hear someone sob and you not say anything except, "I'm sorry you're hurting. I love you." It may not be easy because your instinct wants to point out the stupid thing they did to bring on this pain. But it is POSSIBLE to use self control and simply support.

The most comforting people I have talked to in the midst of the pain and trauma of divorce, were other people who have gone through divorce. Not because we sat around approving of divorce. But because there were so many "Yeah! I know!" moments about the pain experienced behind closed doors. I've opened up to less than five people about my pain in this matter, and for three years the most helpful one was a very quiet, unassuming, tiny lady. I think it is important for you to know that description of her because I am generally thought of as loud, bossy, opinionated, and stubborn. Do you want to know what eloquent advice and direction she gave? She simply said, "I know. I know. It's awful." Sometimes she would add, "It will get better." But that's it! It turned out that in my larger-than-life personality I did not require a Mack truck kind of approach to calm me in the midst of a raging storm. She never said, "You need to..." Or, "Stop doing...." Do you know WHY and HOW she ministered so effectively? It was not because she graduated from a school of theology or psychology. It was because she went through the school of hard knocks. Very particularly, she was thrust into the same classes I was in. Oh, my goodness! She can lift my spirits like no one else! And all she does is listen and say she loves me!

It's also important to accept that you alone do not have ALL that your hurting friend needs. In the beginning, when all Adam had was God Almighty himself, the Creator. God labeled Adam as "alone" and created another source to fulfill Adam's needs. If God accepts that his offspring needs more than only himself, we must each acknowledge that our hurting loved-ones need more than just ourself to meet all their needs.

I will write soon to the hurting people and give my two-cents about how to cowboy up and move forward. But this particular blog is to the strong, healthy one wanting to know how best to be a part of their loved-one's healing.

It really doesn't matter what our title in their life may be; parent, friend, sibling, pastor, mentor, etc. If their boo-boo hurts, and EVERY TIME they see you you're trying to apply healing salt water, you may find yourself with an abundant supply of healing balm, but NO ONE to apply it to. Create an ambiance and atmosphere of gentleness and you'll find more willing patients than you know what to do with.

If you've faced the same pain as your friend you will naturally know how to help. But if you haven't been in the SAME situation, I suggest you try asking questions and listening, not offering guidance unless you are asked for it, and just create a judgment-free, peace zone. And perhaps you'll find yourself becoming a part of helping that person you love be nursed back to spiritual and emotional health.

Denée Richardson, Le Muser
www.deneerichardson.com

~Thanks to Lisa Velie for editing.